Dear reader

It seems I need to apologise once more for the absence of posts. Life is just too hectic. I’m also on the move once more. Where next? I’ll let you know in about two weeks… hopefully.

Any way please check back.

Posts in the pipeline include such varied topics as human trafficking, boobies on the beach part 2 – uncut and more from my housemaid and what happened when she offered to wash my car.

Please  keep checking back.

F

They have a Mr Gibraltar competition too.

Here’s this years winner posing on the rock.

Do try and control yourselves ladies. He’s spoken for.

Miss Gibraltar…

Not bad for a little rock normally associated with apes.

I have a housemaid who comes in once a week to help me out with various chores. She’s very sexy but not exacly the sharpest tool in the box and with the most bizarre attitude to matters of clothing. For an example see the post ‘Girls, Girls, Girls from March 6).

Because of this and her various mis-adventures, I have decided to make a note of the most extreme examples in this blog for posterity and your general amusement.

For instance, in my garden I have four orange trees and one lemon tree all fully laden with fruit ripe for the picking. I mentioned to my housemaid that I would be picking them at the weekend and she offered to assist me. I gratefully accepted.

Pointing to the largest tree, which is some 20 feet tall, I mentioned that I would need to erect a ladder big enough to reach the oranges at the top and that she should wear suitable clothing for ease of movement. She looked at me with a puzzled expresion and asked, “Erect? but wha’ iss this means Don Freddy?”

“Erect…” I replied, “…means that you put something up or make something stand. On Saturday I will put up a ladder, or erection, so that we can reach the top.”

“Aaah Is understand Señior, gracias. You very kin’ an’ alway’ help me wit mys Inglits. Vale, hasta mañana.”

I waved her off and proceeded to prepare the ladders for the next day.

The following morning, my housemaid arrived as promised looking like something from a Texan ranch but with the shortest little denim skirt you could imagine. I was astonished to say the least.

“Why are you wearing such a short skirt?” I asked. “When I told you to wear something for ease of movement I thought you’d have come wearing jeans or something.”

“No señior” she replied, “iss too ‘ot for heans so I wore mys skir’. Iss easy to move becau’ I can lift it up… see?” To demonstrate she hitched up her skirt to her waist revealing her derrière and went over to the ladder.

“Vale Don Freddy, would you like mis tu climb up on yous big erection now?”

Well what could I say?

I said yes.

And she did.

No oranges were picked that day.

Anyway, here’s a photo of my housemaid and her skirt.

Oooooohhh mucha chica’s

Very nice… now why don’t all girls wear dresses like this

Forget 3, 6 is the new magic number.

Alrighty then. You can agree with Wen and add your vote for the Salvadorans or can you suggest better?

Come on… I need more  votes and definately more pictures.

Following my post of a couple of weeks ago imaginatively entitled Girls, Girls, Girls and the comments that followed (albiet only two) I thought what a fantastic wheeze it would be to put the whole ‘which girls are the hottest’ to the vote. I thought it might be even better to include the guys. 

In light of this I am proud to announce the following poll imaginatively entitled Which Girls and Guys are the hottest. (Cue applause).

Simply put I want you all (all one reader judging by my blog stats) to comment on which nationality produces the hottest babes or hunks. I’ll let it run for a month and then release the stats. But wait there’s more…

Rather than just saying which girls or guys are the best I also need the reason why. The commenter with the best suggestion will win a huge bottle of lotion and a girl or guy from the country of choice to come and rub it all over their body. Sounds fun, yeh? But there’s more…

Send in a picture of your favorite girlies or guys for an even better chance of winning. I’ll post the photo’s I receive every week.

Please note: Unfortunately porn will not be posted… just saved for my personal collection sooooo get sending to the following address;

sundriedballs@yahoo.co.uk

So then, who are the hottest? English, Spanish, French, Italian, Asian, Eastern European, South American, African… the list is endless but here’s one to get you started.

Get voting

I received an interesting memo from senior management at work today and thought I’d share it with you all.

Re: New Company Policy

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown
of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to
put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be
eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced
Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be
reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired
Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and
SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional
Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for
Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who
have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further
by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as
much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT
it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive
enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor.
They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

The Management.

Damn… I’ll be 40 in 15 years time.

Prior to leaving Malta I had an interesting discussion with my 3 gorgeous assistants regarding who were the prettiest girlies. LaDelirante made the comment that she thought Spanish girls were not very pretty and that I would be a little disappointed with what I found. Having been here for some 8 months now (heck – has it been that long?) I am able to provide a response on the basis of comparison.

I will start with the Maltese girls.

From my own experience I found Maltese girls lovely. N & D, two of the aforementioned gorgeous assistants a case in point. The thing I remember about Maltese girls is that they have great hips and know how to swing them, especially at Paceville on a Friday night wearing ridiculously short skirts (bloody marvelous). The only downside was that I always got the impression that if you dared to try and get into said skirts and the little things underneath, all you’d get for your trouble would be a slap around the face and a visit from their mother and a priest the next day. This is perhaps why I never attained the joy of a liaison intimate with a Maltese girl.

As for Spanish girls, to give you an idea of my thoughts I would like to make a comparison between them and English girls.

As you may or may not know I live in Spain but work in Gibraltar. To get to work each day I have to cross both a border checkpoint and the runway of an international airport. Walking across the runway one is often hampered by strong wind (not the type that comes from the anus I hasten to add). It is therefore quite easy to tell the English girls from the Spanish. The English are the ones that wear tiny little skirts but then hold them tight to avoid the slightest chance of the wind lifting the hem even a little bit. By contrast the Spanish girls don’t give a damn. The wind blows, the skirts fly up and more often than not one is given a pantyless glimpse of heaven. I think the point I’m making is that although I love Maltese girls and English girls for their undoubted beauty, it’s the free spirit that appeals too. But then I’m a guy who likes the occasional little glimpse of heaven.

Oh and Spanish girls are hot too. Just take a look at this sneaky shot I took of my housemaid.

Good news…

After seemingly ages without a post from IllusiveFreddy, the meastro is back.

It’s been tough without me I know but at last life can return to normal and you can breath again.

A brand new post and look will be here shortly the first being on the subject of girls, girls, girls…

Oooh I can hardly wait…